Monday, November 19, 2007

The Cow System - continued

Friends added these, come on have a laugh.
I would love to see this in the blog roll in Malaysiakini. Take a break from reading those serious stuff in Malaysiakini.

ISLAM HADHARI SYSTEM

You had two cows.You dressed one cow in habayah and the other in
G-string. Then you fed both cows with imported America-approved
fermented wheat. You hired a Russian cosmonaut to find out why your cows
behaved like drunks. The cosmonaut suggested that Earth's gravity and
environment were not suitable for your two cows. So, you bought a few
submarines in exchange for 2 seats on the Soyuz and off they went. Then,
you went on telling Muslims around the world that to progress is to buy
Russian submarines and send 2 cows to outer space.

MALAYSIAN SYSTEM:

You have 2 cows. You employ 2 Indonesians and a Bangladeshi to manage your cows. One Indonesian woman to clean the kandang, one Indonesian man milk the cows and the Bangladeshi to sell the milk to your neighbours. You still cant figure out why your 2 cows venture cant make profit. Someone suggested that you employ a Nepali to potong rumput to feed your cows, so that your cows will be well fed and produce more milk.

DUBAI SYSTEM:

You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all the magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

QATAR SYSTEM:

You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

SAUDI SYSTEM:

Since milking the cow involves nipples the Gov't decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... The debate is still going on.

BAHRAIN SYSTEM:

You have two cows. Some high Gov't official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The Gov't tells you that there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the Gov't and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 month, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time and so cutting back on unemployment.

LEBANON SYSTEM:

You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by Hizbollah.

EGYPTIAN SYSTEM:

You have two cows. Both are voting for Mubarak!

AMERICAN SYSTEM:

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire an Indian consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.



FRENCH SYSTEM:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you wanted three cows.

RUSSIAN SYSTEM:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

BRITISH SYSTEM:

You have two cows. Both are mad.

4 comments:

art harun said...

Malaysian democracy system:

You have 2 cows. You bring them to the parliament and you slaughter them there to have a kenduri for the PM's wedding.

After you slaughtered them, you found out that there were many other cows loitering, arguing and quarreling in the parliament.

Scott said...

My version for South-East Asia

http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2007/04/02/talkingcock-southeast-asian-cow-pitalism/

Sagaladoola said...

That is a good one....

Did you write about Indian Cow:

They have plenty of cows and milk because they do not kill cows but many people live in hunger and poor.

Anonymous said...

Bodoland's system:

You have 2 cows, and one day you found out that they are both stolen.

Your government tells you that this is NEP!